Monday, August 3, 2009

Starting Over

We all go through rough spots in life, i.e. loved ones passing away, losing jobs, break-ups. It seems that within the last year or 2, people around me, including myself, have been enduring a lot of pain and thus growing stronger because of it. Is it because we are growing older? Is it just because I'm starting to mature and notice other peoples' pain?

Of course, I won't disclose any names or information, so I'm going to use myself as an example. About 13 years ago, and what seems like just yesterday, my father passed away and life went on. I never stopped moving. This was just my way of dealing, I suppose. I didn't tell my friends right away. I don't really know why I went about it that way. Maybe I didn't want to be treated differently. Maybe I was just immature and didn't know what to say or how to say it. Also, there wasn't an open online community like there is today. We couldn't broadcast our thoughts so openly and across this vast network as easily as we can today.

Someone breaks up with us and seems to ruin our lives. What do we do today? We can post a blog... a long, angry, uncensored rant about how unfair life is. We can let the whole planet know how horrible this person that broke our heart is... how hard you worked and how much time/money you invested into the relationship while your other half took you for granted. If I could get paid to search the internet for break-up blogs, I think I'd quit my day job and start scouring. Hooray Google!

Long story short, I'm on here to let the world know that I'm here, and I'm strong. I haven't written anything online in a while, and now that I'm a little bit older, I plan to spit some worthwhile blog material starting now. I'm done with break-ups. I'll try to be positive and open-minded and leave behind the pain that I wrapped myself around a couple years back. I've been working extremely hard on myself mentally and physically over the past half year. P-90X has been a part of my workout routine and it's helped me lose almost 30 pounds. I never felt better, and I plan to continue on this way.

Love you guys,


  1. ....telling someone that, 'one of us have anything interesting to say," isn't the most meaningful way to start off a new blog... that is just your over-abundance of HUMILITY shining through as per usual. You are your worst critic. This blog, however, should be honest...therefore Mr. Emmanuel - you must SOMETIMES, get a grip of your humble-nature, and just let everyone see the talents, beliefs, intelligence, perspectives, and feelings within you. Those aer interesting. Your unique experiences you suffered and enjoyed in your history is what makes you YOU - and we want to see the real shit. Brag, praise, boast, whine, sympathize, gripe, love, hate, suppress, Bitch, pray, and or... keep a secret on this blog...just Be your beautiful self - as you intend you usually are anyway.

    On a personal note... I support you as you grow in this existence called "life." I still don't know why I'm know i think about this often. hpoefully i'll get some insight from your blogs here and there. Whatever made you tick as the child you who you use to be - - - when you suffered in silence through losing your father...and through the bullshit criticisms of all those teachers in elementary and high school (they know who they are)...through all the pain I had caused you throughout our long history together (and still do at times i'm sure :0( ...and through all the lonely nights and mornings, and misunderstandings between your siblings, family, and friends - You remained as true to who you wanted to be as possible. So, regardless of you being an agnostic (which could possibly be a temporary decision), and especially because of my unending and irrevocable love for your friendship and for you in general, - I SUPPORT you and just want you to be HAPPY. I love you. And I miss you.
    Good luck sweetie.

  2. Thanks Steph. Thanks for writing to me and reading my post. I plan to use this medium as a vent. It'll be like wholesaling my emotions instead of to one person at a time. I value your criticism as much as your praise, so feel free to chime in with whatever you want to say. You know that everything you say means the world to me. I love you. I'll talk to you soon!